Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
