the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
