mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
