I'm really into asian looking animals
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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