Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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