i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
