is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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