so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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