After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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