i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
