Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
