So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
