If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
