Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
