We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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