sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
