evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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