Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
