Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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