who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
