I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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