my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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