Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
