The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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