It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
