Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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