I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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