I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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