tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
