i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize