big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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