I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
