Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
