if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
