Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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