Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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