I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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