I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
