She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
