I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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