I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
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Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
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You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon