how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.