No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.