I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
