Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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