1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
