i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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