As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
