White coat. Heels.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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