HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
