My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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