Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
