it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
