help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
