I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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