Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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