Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
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They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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