I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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