just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He felt like a one man threesome
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
