There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
