Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
