I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
