I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
