jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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