She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
