bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
