There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
