I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize